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What is my Motivation?

Every day is an attempt to understand what makes Candy happy. What makes me tick? What is it that excites or motivates me? I used to be happy exploring as a travel nurse. Being able to go all over this huge country living, working and exploring used to motivate me and excite me. Now? All I can think of is leaving....the next trip, the next adventure, how can I travel longer, where can I go.

In retrospection I have noticed that I am much more willing to brave the elements and explore on my own when I am out of my own country. I feel less inhibited when no one around me speaks my language. I am happy to be wandering aimlessly amidst the locals when I am an outsider. I'll sit comfortably for an afternoon at a local cafe and watch the people pass by and think about where they are going or watch them carry on with their daily lives, watching them work or play. I love to engage in conversation or share a knowing smile or laugh at something going on. Why is it that I feel like I 'fit' better where I don't belong?

Here I sit in Chicago.....

No motivation to do much of anything. There is tons to do and see but I feel lost and alone. I don't have the motivation to go on my own. I long for someone to share it with. I'm lonely.

So, what is my motivation? Leaving.....going somewhere new......the feeling of an aircraft taking off.....the unusual sights of a new culture.....the smells of food unknown....not understanding the voices surrounding me......not knowing what to expect. This is my motivation. My desire. The 'puts a smile on my face' moment.

February 11, 2011

What's significant about this? I'm leaving....going somewhere new....going to feel the airplane take off....transporting me to a new culture....with new smells....new sounds....new voices....not knowing what to expect!! There is a smile on my face just thinking about it. It's one of my moments....

The date/time-frame was set months ago. My plans have changed multiple times. Travel partners have come and gone for various reasons. Finally, I decided to plan it on my own. I picked a place I could travel alone. Decided that it was useless depending on others to travel with me. Besides, this was about me. Me being motivated. Bringing the smile back to my face.

So, where am I going? South America. It was decided after a friend mailed me a wedding invitation for Playa Del Carmen at the end of March. I needed to be somewhere that i could easily travel to the wedding. This is the person that inspired me after all!! (see profile)

Once I decided to make the leap alone, I was discussing it with a friend and she has decided tto join me. Teresa and I will be traveling together.....I've very excited. We are spending 7 weeks together in Bolivia, Peru and Ecuador. Following this, Teresa will fly home and I am onward to the wedding in Playa Del Carmen. I'm very happy to be included in such a special day for a special friend.

I keep running through the finances, the timing and everything else and I really want to extend the trip and spend some time on my own. i am tryiing to figure out how to add an extra month after the wedding to travel in Central America. I would like to try to settle into a place for at least 3-4 weeks and see what I think about living as a local in a culture so unfamilar to me. I want to see if it will bring the 'puts a smile on my face' moment.

I'll keep you posted......

Posted by Khandilee 12:49 Archived in USA

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